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Well, my maternity leave is up as of midnight tonight  and I can't believe how quickly it  has gone by! It has been about 11 months since I went on leave and going back into the corporate world tomorrow seems like the dream has ended and the nightmare is starting ….

It is impossible for me to express how frustrated I am at having to go back and how much I really don't want to step back into the job that I was doing. Don't get me wrong, the people I work with are fantastic and if I could get paid for just chatting to them and not having to do any other work, then it would be perfect!

I saw a couple of the girls from work last night and the politics, drama and client issues that they were telling me about has made me even more reluctant to face the music tomorrow. I am already having nightmares about going back but until I make some decent money online, this is the only option for now. My only saving grace is that I'm in for only 3 days a week (well, hopefully only 3 days – before I went on maternity leave I was meant to be working 4 days a week but ended up working 5 90% of the time!).

I'm extremely envious of my friends that are still on maternity leave or that have decided not to go back. Angry at myself for not being able to make the 11 months of maternity leave work in my favour and frustrated at having made little headway in what I wanted to achieve.

I've just got to refocus, get back to reality and wake up on Monday morning with a positve attitude and a drive to make this online career a success – for the sake of my family and my sanity!

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I saw a 'news' segment on TV tonight about parent's coddling their babies. From baby helmets, to USB keys carrying around information about your child, we seem to be raising a generation of cottonwool children.

Seriously, when is too much too much?

From banning Big Ears from sleeping in Noddy's house, to changing the words of Humpty Dumpty so that children won't develop a complex about the King's men not being able to put Humpty together again, the world as surely gone mad! Political correctness and parents wanting to shelter their kids from the 'big, bad world' – when will it stop??

It is ridiculous to think that if we wrap our kids up in cottonwool, we will protect them from all the dangers of the world. I mean, what happens when they get their first jobs? Their boss isn't going to stop using red pen just because it might have repercussions or affect their self esteem!

All that will happen is that we will raise a generation of spoilt, pansy kids who are going to get the shock of their lives when they start work in the real world. And then whose fault is that? Come on, let's get real and let our kids experience life – otherwise society will be forever paying for our over-protectiveness.

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I love the thought of having a wonderful, festive Christmas, but with a tiny house with almost no room for a Christmas tree and Christmas being in the sweltering heat of summer, it always becomes too much of an effort.

However, with a new bub, when she does get older, I'm sure we will be putting much more effort into Christmas.

So I was thinking of some ideas of what I could do once Katie is old enough to appreciate the beauty of Christmas -without being overly commercial about it:

• Definitely put the Christmas tree up
• Give the grandparents Christmas drawings/paintings handmade by Katie
• Handmake Christmas gifts and treats for close friends (especially little shortbread stars and gingerbread men!)
• Get some Christmas carols on CD so that we have some festive music in the house
• Definitely get out and about to see the Christmas lights, carols in the park and a sitting with Santa
• Buying a present for the wishing tree (which is a present that you buy for a disadvantaged child)

As much as I can, I would like to water down the commerciality of Christmas and make it all about family, helping others and appreciating what we have.

How are you celebrating Christmas with your family and what are your ideas for making Christmas special?

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I don't know about you, but Christmas keeps coming around faster and faster every year! It didn't seem so long ago that I was pregnant and dreading attending the yearly family Christmas dinner due to all the foods that I wasn't able to eat!

But this Christmas is special as it is our baby's first Christmas  Unfortunately, we have had to decide between putting up a Christmas tree and our baby not having any room to crawl! (If you see our house, you will understand!). But we can make the place fairly festive enough – not that she will notice!

As with all Christmases, I feel completely unprepared for the festive season. Though I have to say I have done most of my Christmas shopping and sent out 99% of my Christmas cards and there is still 2weeks of Christmas to go! Usually I'll be at the shops on Christmas Eve, but I had a slight panic attack at the beginning of December and motored my way through most of the Christmas shopping in about 2 days.

We have a fairly extensive family here in Australia which I feel very fortunate about. Because the festive season is all about family. And whether there are disagreements or conflicts within the family unit, it is a time where these things can be put aside in order to celebrate life, relationships, humanity, peace, hope and sacrifice.

How are you celebrating Christmas in your family? With a big family gathering? Or a small informal, intimate affair?

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As a first time mother I am finding that I am dealing with guilt on a fairly regular basis.

Am I spending enough time with my daughter?

Is she learning enough from myself and my husband?

Are we doing enough activities to facilitate her development?

Am I right in going back to work and putting her into childcare?

Trying to get a few businesses off the ground plus juggling being a mother and a wife comes with its challenges. There are so many competing pressures from society to do everything and do it well, that we sometimes can feel like our efforts are not sufficient.

Speaking to other mothers, we all seem to face the same questions, the same issues. And the same guilty feelings. And I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not alone in facing these pressures. It’s how we deal with these pressures that is important. 

And I have decided that I am going to do things "my way". Not society’s way, or the way that other people may think that I should do things. But my way. And as long as I try my best to do what is right for my family, then that the is the best that I can do. I may crash and burn doing it, but at least I would have given it a shot under my rules. I am going to shut my ears to the naysayers and to the people who ’think’ they are giving me good advice and do what I believe in. This way I stay true to myself and what I believe in.

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